Making Baby 3, Part 20: How long does it take to fall pregnant?

It’s month 5, and I’m not pregnant again. Ah, oh well.

I found some interesting statistics to mull over.

>  Of couples trying to conceive naturally –

20 % will conceive within one month
70 % will conceive within six months
85 % will conceive within a year
90 % will conceive within 18 months
95 % will conceive within two years

>  At the age of 25, a woman’s fertility begins to naturally decline. It decreases rapidly after the age of 35.

>  At the age of 30, a healthy woman has a 20% chance of falling pregnant each month. A 40 year old woman has a 5% chance.

>  It is estimated that 1 in 7 couples have difficulty conceiving.

>  Percentage of births born to an age group are:
5.1% – 19 & under
16.8% – 20-24
30.2% – 25-29
31.0% – 30-34
14.1% – 35-39
2.7% – 40 & over

According to HFEA (Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority) 2005.
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare in May 2003
American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Age and Fertility. 2003.

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

Death and Other Tricky Things

One of our hermit crabs died last week. It was little Billy – the one who endured being in the mouth of a 2 year old. He was such a little trooper. We decided to wrap him up and have a little burial. The kids were extremely curious about the whole topic of death.

They had so many tricky questions and interesting comments.

Why do people put dead bodies into the ground? Where does the person go after that? Why do people need to remember the dead people? When are you going to die? I don’t like heaven, it’s full of dead people. I don’t want to die. I’m going to live forever. How can I stop myself from dying?

I tried to answer as simply as possible. My heart was stuck in my throat. My chest was all tight and yet, tried not to seem so overwhelmed.

This is a summary of what I said :

When a person dies, their body stops working.

They put the person’s dead body in a special box, and put it into the ground, where it will slowly become part of the earth.

The body will turn into dirt and vitamins that help trees and plants grow. So in a way the body is becoming part of the life of the world.

All their friends and family have a special event to remember the person. They talk about how wonderful and special the person was to them.

It’s very important to remember people, because life is very precious. Everyone is special. You can learn lots of things from other people that will help you live your life better and stronger.

Everyone gets old. That’s how life works. You’re born, you grow into a kid, then an adult, then your body gets older, and then one day your body will stop working.

Lots of people are scared about when they have to die. They are also sad and upset when others have to die. Those feelings are normal.

It’s not a good idea to think about dying too much. You should think about LIVING! You should be excited about the life you have now, and how to make as many good things happen in the time you have.

I never thought I would be able to do this kind of thing. Before I had children, one of my greatest fears of becoming a parent was to have to explain hard answers to my kids.

What if I didn’t know the answers? How am I going to explain the meaning of life to them? How am I going to explain tricky things like : love, life, death, sex, hell, mortgages, racism, insurance and global warming?

I guess since becoming a parent, the biggest tip I’ve learnt : Just tell it like it is.

Floured

Floured

I was dusting fish fillets in some flour, when one slippery sucker let loose and went PLOP into the bowl with a comical smoke screen POOF.

My kids thought it was very funny, and said that it looked like a pretty firework pattern on my shirt. I, however, was not too impressed.

Children and Diamonds Do Not Mix

My 4.5yo walked up to me the other day and said,

“Hey mum. Do you own diamond earrings?”

INSTANTLY MY FINELY-TUNED PARENTAL ALARM BELLS WENT OFF.

My son has often shown the uncanniest ability to stop me in my tracks and demand my fullest attention.

“YES WHY DO YOU ASK?!?!”

“Oh right. I just found a diamond under the sofa. I liked it, so I glued it to my door. But that was last week, so it was stuck there for a while. I thought you might want it today, so I scratched it off, but it fell into my pile of shoes, and it kinda got a bit dirty from the sand, so I washed it in the sink with some soap and…”

AAAAHHHHHHKKKK MY EYES WERE POPPING OUT OF MY HEAD. I HAD A HEART ATTACK RIGHT THERE. HE WASHED MY DIAMOND DOWN THE SINK??? GAAAAAAAAAH I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!!!!

“WHERE’S MY DIAMOND NOW?!?!?!??!”

“Oh it’s right here! In my pocket see?”

Callum's Diamond

As you can see, “the diamond” was in fact a plastic craft sequin, often used in scrapbooking, or any other stupid art activity done by 4 year olds.

Errgh! Kids! I just lost 10 years off my life!

The Mother of All Senses

Perhaps it’s the way females are wired…

But sometimes I can be frying dinner, while chopping vegetables, with the phone perched on my shoulder, chatting to my girlfriend. The kids are playing in a room, music is blasting in the background, over the noise of my neighbour who is mowing the lawn.

Suddenly I realise that the kids have made no sound in the last 3 minutes, and it’s a kind of quiet that can only mean one thing – THAT THEY HAVE CLIMBED UP ONTO THE SHELF, PULLED OUT THE SCISSORS AND ARE NOW CUTTING UP THEIR BED SHEETS TO MAKE BANDAGES FOR THEIR TEDDY BEARS.

I’m constantly amazed by how I manage to KNOW THESE THINGS, AND BE RIGHT.

I wish I could boast of a marvellous sense of bonding felt between mother and child… but no. It was simply putting pieces together.

Earlier the oldest kid wanted 5 bandaids for their “game”, to which I said NO.

Then later, they asked to use the scissors and sticky tape, to which I said NO.

Then they asked whether their bed sheets were brand new, to which I said NO.

Figuring kids out is not hard.

It’s just scary.