A girlfriend of mine invited me to go clubbing. Clubbing? I raised one eyebrow. I’m so not into the clubbing scene.
OK… I think it’s only fun and interesting if I go once a year. That way there’s enough time to forget how annoying drunk people can get, how expensive drinks are, how people squish past you in a crowd to grab your boobs, and how utterly gross my hair smells after.
But hey, I had a baby 3 months ago. And I’m still 24.
I wanted to go out, feel young and crazy and have some irresponsible fun.
It was a fun evening. We had two dweeby guys sitting by the bar looking after our jackets, another two guys buying us drinks, and two very good looking (but very boring) dancers making us look good.
I believe there’s a certain feeling of power when you’re in a club and MARRIED. You know you’re going to go home to a warm bed and snuggle up to the man you’re utterly in love with. So it was with that cool and ease in which I found myself shutting down, waving off, lying to, and ignoring every boring, annoying, pretentious guy I met.
There was one guy who I couldn’t shake off. He told me some story of how he’s been in Perth for 8 months and hasn’t been able to find a salsa dance partner and that I was the best salsa dancer he’s ever danced with blah blah blah. He really wanted my number so he could practice with me. Riiiight. Sure buddy. Good try.
I refuse politely. But he insisted again and again. I realised that the easiest way to get rid of this guy was to pretend to give it to him. So I took his phone punched in some completely random number, gave it back to him. He was so grateful, I almost felt sorry I did it.
Then there was this OTHER guy. Phwoar. He looked like a cross between between Lenny Kravitz and Ben Harper. Damn he was hot. I managed to score a dance too. But he started chatting and telling me he was a computer programmer. Hmm. I so didn’t want to know that. After that, I couldn’t stop imagining of him eating spam and instant noodles and forwarding Dilbert cartoons to his co-workers. No offence to the computer programmers out there!
So overall it was a fun night. I got home at 3am. I was still a bit drunk. I promised myself I’d never do it again.
And I HAD to wash my hair. So it was 5am before I went to bed. And yes, it was nice and warm.