When you’re trying to conceive a child, it’s very hard to NOT think about it in your day to day life

Even while I have two kids, it’s always at the back of my head.

As I go through the day, I am constantly struck by the thought : I wonder what it’d be like to have a third kid in this situation.

When I push a shopping trolley loaded with my kids. When we’re at a cafe sharing chips and milkshakes. When we’re paddling and splashing in a swimming pool. When we huddle together to take a family photo.

It’s a consuming thought.

But I shouldn’t let it be that way. Not in a negative way, at least.

I always try to keep a positive and healthy attitude about it all.

I like to focus on the good and happy things in my life.

I like to speak, think and write about it in a positive way.

I like to laugh about it, telling people, “That’s right, we have lots and lots and lots of sex.”

I like to keep some perspective, remembering that there are so many couples who want and can’t have even one child.

I like to think that in the end, if it’s not to be, then I shall be happy with what I have.

If anything, I guess thinking happy thoughts and trying to stay positive will keep me less stressed, relaxed, in the mood and who knows what might happen next!

…
Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

It’s month 5, and I’m not pregnant again. Ah, oh well.

I found some interesting statistics to mull over.

  Of couples trying to conceive naturally -

20 % will conceive within one month
70 % will conceive within six months
85 % will conceive within a year
90 % will conceive within 18 months
95 % will conceive within two years

  At the age of 25, a woman’s fertility begins to naturally decline. It decreases rapidly after the age of 35.

  At the age of 30, a healthy woman has a 20% chance of falling pregnant each month. A 40 year old woman has a 5% chance.

  It is estimated that 1 in 7 couples have difficulty conceiving.

  Percentage of births born to an age group are:
5.1% – 19 & under
16.8% – 20-24
30.2% – 25-29
31.0% – 30-34
14.1% – 35-39
2.7% – 40 & over

According to HFEA (Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority) 2005.
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare in May 2003
American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Age and Fertility. 2003.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

I have a confession to make.

One of the more accurate ways of predicting ovulation is to use an ovulation test kit. And ever since we’ve started trying to “Make Baby 3”, I’ve been using these kits.

Ovulation test kits are generally 99% accurate in predicting ovulation. However they don’t guarantee that you will conceive.

It measures the amount of LH (luteinising hormone) in your urine, which increases 1-2 days before you ovulate. So the surge of this hormone indicates that your fertile days are approaching.

The kit works like a pregnancy test kit – peeing on a stick, or dipping test strips in a cup. It’s pretty easy to use: when you see TWO dark lines, you shag like crazy for 2 days.

Ovulation kits are a bit more expensive than the [free] natural charting methods like tracking cervical mucus and taking your basal body temperature. I buy mine from the supermarket for $25 for 7 tests. But I’ve seen some packs sell for $75.

When trying to conceive a girl, you’re supposed to have sex 2-3 days before ovulation.

So basically the idea is, you start tracking your cycle with ovulation tests 4-5 days before you think you’ll ovulate. Meanwhile you have lots of sex. When you get an LH SURGE, you stop having sex. And hopefully a stronger, longer lasting, female sperm will make it to the egg first.

While I’ve heard all kinds of positive and negative stories about this method and how it’s actually much more tricker than it’s made out to be…

I’ve been told by my doctor that this method may decrease our chances of falling pregnant at all. And I guess for us, this definitely seems to be the case.

…
Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

Over the past months of trying to conceive, I’ve poured through heaps of fertility and conception books. I thought I would share some of the more excellent books I have found.

How To Choose The Sex Of Your Baby by LB Shettles and D Rorvik.

This book begins with a bit of history on the Shettles Method and perhaps a few too many testimonials – if anything, the testimonials made me feel that I wasn’t the only nutcase who was using this technique!

The book runs through the scientific evidence, how the method has been developed and refined over the years. It’s got some interesting sex selection stories from the ancient Greeks, middle ages and sex chants made by German woodsmen – if you’re into that kind of thing.

It compares the Shettles Method to a few other sex selection methods, including gender diets and emerging high-tech methods.

Then the juicy bit is in the chapter “How to Use the Shettles Method Successfully”. Where it covers how to determine the time of ovulation, what to do when you are trying for a boy and trying for a girl. Lots of questions and answers too.

It’s all very interesting, detailed and practical. Perhaps the language is a bit long-winded and at times scientific, but the information is excellent, especially if you want to give this method a go.

On the back cover is states that the Shettles Method raises your chances of conceiving a child of your preferred gender from 50% – if you do nothing at all – to 75% if you use the method properly. Some researchers report that the success rate is as high as 90%.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

It’s been 4 months since I’ve started writing this “Making Baby 3” series. And many people have asked me whether I would consider adoption.

If I had been asked before I had my own kids, I probably would have been very hesitant. I would probably want to try to naturally conceive (for a few years). Or try other artificial means of conception first.

If I had no kids, if I knew for sure that I couldn’t have kids of my own, then my answer would be yes.

Why? Because I have always wanted children. I have always wanted to be a parent and to have a family.

And now, I also know the happiness a child can bring. I know the joy of parenting and how it completely outweighs the headaches of parenting. It is so completely worth it.

However, I appreciate that the adoption process is a long and difficult journey. Sometimes the process can take as long as 4-7 years. Which is the main reason we won’t be looking to adopt our third baby.

I know 4 families living in my neighbourhood with adopted children. Two of the children were locally born. Two were from overseas. Talking to the families and hearing their adoption stories, is just so interesting, remarkable, moving and humbling.

Adopting parents have to pay, attend seminars, fill out countless forms, go through interviews, psychological examinations, give proof of the strength of their relationship, character assessments, prove that you can meet the ethnic / cultural / educational needs of the child, continual visits from social workers… in order to have a child.

Us? We just have sex! And bingo we’re parents. No course. No handbook. No application form.

Beyond the exhausting experience, the mums I have talked to and who have adopted, all say the same thing, it’s so completely worth it.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

We’re up to our 4th month, and we’re not pregnant.

It’s true. I’m pretty down about it. I’m not in a total state of despair and disappointment, but I do need some cheering up.

This following “list” is an email someone sent me a while ago. I thought it was pretty funny. It doesn’t have much to do with MAKING a baby.

But it applies to me and my wish to HAVE A THIRD BABY.

……………………………………..

The Evolution of Parenthood

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby’s Name -

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites.

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette -

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Pacifier -

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering -

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities -

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home -

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

In my investigations into all the ways of increasing my chances to have a girl, I stumbled across some expensive, high-tech, scientific gender selection methods that GUARANTEE A SPECIFIC GENDER.

They all involve artificial means of conception and pregnancy, usually used by couples who can’t have children any other way.

While these techniques have worked for many couples, most are extremely expensive and can not guarantee the pregnancy or birth of the baby.

MicroSort Sperm Sorting
Sperm are sorted into X and Y, then used via artificial insemination (IUI) or in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to become pregnant. Apparently there’s a 91% success rate for having a girl and 76% for a boy.

Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)
Using PGD for gender selection is 100% guaranteed, however it is banned in some countries.

PGD was actually developed for couples with fatal genetic conditions, and it allowed couples to test IVF embryos for genetic disorders, before being implanted into the mother.

But there are some places that allow PGD for gender selection in non-medical circumstances.

The Ericsson Method
This method is similar to sperm sorting, using a kind of filter. It is less expensive and lower accuracy.

As I read articles about these procedures I was also faced with countless discussions about ethics, social implications, religious concerns, possible biological or psychological harm to children etc.

For me, I haven’t really considered these methods at all. They seem like such distant and extreme choices. It makes me wonder, how far would I go to be guaranteed a girl?

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

When you’re trying to conceive a baby, the woman has to work out when she ovulates in order to find her most fertile days.

There are quite a few easy and free methods to predict ovulation. I’ve already written about charting a Cervical Mucus Chart, and it’s often recommended to try charting your Basal Body Temperature at the same time.

Basal Body Temperature (BBT)

The BBT is the body’s temperature when it is at rest. When you chart your BBT everyday, you can work out where you are in your cycle, and exactly when ovulation has occurred.

You have to take your temperature first thing in the morning (before you even speak), and at the same time each morning for a month.

Basically when you have a spike in your temperature, it indicates that you have ovulated. It also means that you are most fertile on the two to three days BEFORE the spike.

It all sounds very easy, but unfortunately it calls for scientific procedures that are much too tricky for me – that is, doing something brainy first thing in the morning.

I can hardly remember where I am and what my name is the moment I wake up.

Nonetheless. I have tried it, and yes I plot a good looking chart.

I’m aware that it doesn’t work for everybody, especially if you have a very irregular cycle, or if you’re sick etc. It’s also pretty time consuming, tricky to get it right and most professionals say women shouldn’t rely on it 100%.

However I found myself quite fascinated as I looked at my little chart.

This is because I also jotted down other regular patterns like: days when I’m depressed, days when my skin feels like crap, days when my hair is really shiny, days when I’m super energetic, days when I crave junk food, days when I’m snappy + irritable. And it’s actually quite freaky to see how predictable I am.

This is not my chart, but it gives you a really good idea of what a BBT chart looks like. You can read about how to chart your basal body temperature here.

Original image by GlobalB2B.

Being ethnically Chinese, I grew up being taught Chinese traditions and ideas. But growing up in Australia, I’ve learnt that my parents hacked away at some traditions and just made up stuff along the way.

Thus I’ve been always very dubious when something is labelled, an “Ancient Chinese Tradition.” What it usually meant was that Mrs Lee told my mother something over the mahjong table one rainy evening.

Anyway. When I gave birth to both my children, my mother insisted I carry out the Ancient Chinese Tradition of Chinese Confinement.

It involves sticking to weird rules like – stay in the house for 30 days, avoid washing your hair and hands, don’t touch cold water, and drink lots of brandy. Ok I exaggerate. But you can read what I wrote about it here. I didn’t do very well, but at least I tried.

During my research on how to increase chances of selecting gender using natural techniques, I came across the Ancient Chinese Gender Chart.

The legend states that the Chinese Gender Chart is over 700 years old. It was discovered in a royal tomb in Beijing and now resides in the Beijing Institute of Science. Apparently it is 90 – 99% accurate, but it is only for entertainment purposes.

There isn’t much scientific evidence, but some say it has something to do with the phase of the moon and the acidity in the woman’s uterus.

How To Use It :

You can predict your child’s gender by using your LUNAR AGE at the time of conception. (To work out your lunar age, just add 2 years.)

Then find which month you conceived, then you can work out the gender of your baby.

My Analysis :

My biggest problem right now is… for me and my two boys = this chart is 100% accurate.

The chart ALSO tells me that I have to wait until May if I want to conceive a girl.

Hmmm.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

We’ve been 3 months into this baby making business, and again, we are not pregnant.

I have received quite a few emails from people suggesting that I could try changing my diet.

A quick search on the internet shows that there are different diets that will increase chances of conceiving a girl or boy.

Some diets are loosely based on “studies”, while others have absolutely no basis whatsoever. Some just sound plain dodgy and contradicting. And each come with a warning “please consult your doctor before adjusting your diet”.

This is the summary of what I dug up.

Diet to conceive a girl : the woman should eat foods high in calcium and magnesium. Some foods suggested are yoghurt, milk, eggs, nuts, brown rice, wholemeal bread, spinach and tofu.

Minimise intake of sodium and potassium. Eg. salty foods, tea, coffee, wine, fish fingers, cheese, oranges, and peaches.

Diet to conceive a boy : the woman should consume food high in sodium and potassium. Eg. Salty foods, dried apricots, raisins, meat, fish, jams, dried vegetables.

Minimise intake of calcium and magnesium.

I suppose there’s no real harm in trying it.

But I believe having a balanced and wholesome diet should be more important for the mother and father. So I probably won’t be committed to any special diets. If anything I’ll eat an extra slice of tofu and take an extra handful of nuts.

…

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

In our quest to have a third baby, my husband and I decided that, since we already have two boys, there was no harm in trying to conceive a girl – or rather, using natural techniques that increased the chances of conceiving a girl.

We’ve been following various recommendations outlined in a popular technique called The Shettles Method, by Dr Shettles in her book, How To Choose the Sex Of Your Baby.

I’ve already written about the importance of timing sex, tracking your mucus cycle.

So according to the Shettles method, if you want a girl, you have to have sex in a particular way.

1) Shallow penetration.

Woman on the bottom. Good. Old. Missionary. Just lie still thanks.

The reason for having shallow penetration is so that the sperm will be deposited further away from the cervix, which is more acidic and will disadvantage the weaker boy sperm.

Plus it also gives the slow swimming, but longer lasting girl sperm a greater chance of reaching the egg.

2) Woman can NOT orgasm.

Apparently, when a woman orgasms, the acidity levels change in the uterus, making it more favourable for boy sperm.

Also the contractions felt during an orgasm usually assist the sperm up into the cervix and towards the egg. This means the faster swimming boy sperm have an advantage over the girl sperm.

So there you have it.

If you want a girl, you have to have BORING SEX!

…

(I wonder what it means that I have two boys! Ha!)

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

I have two happy, healthy boys. They are active, loud, cute, funny, creative, weird and I just love them to bits.

Yet as my husband and I decided that we were going to begin trying to conceive our third child, we made it no secret that we wanted to try for a girl.

Now, I’m not announcing it as my original gender preference. Nor is it a reflection of how I feel about raising my boys.

I feel it is so natural to have one gender, and wish for a different set of experiences that can only come about from the relationship with the opposite gender.

It’s simply a little wish.

Because in all honesty, I don’t have a deep, intense, emotional yearning to have a GIRL. I don’t have a lifelong desire to brush hair, tie ponytails, fiddle with dresses and tiaras.

I won’t be disappointed or broken-hearted if I my third child turns out to be boy.

I would be thrilled, overjoyed and pleased beyond anything to have another boy!

And I feel that’s the right and healthy way to approach all this.

After all, the chances are 50/50 right?

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

Image from Medgadget

The other week I wrote about how my preferred sperm donor went to get a sperm analysis and we discovered that he had a very low sperm count.

A normal guy has around 20 million or more sperm in 1ml of semen. Anything less than this is considered to be “low”.

A bit of research shows that it is quite common for men to have a low sperm count, and there are so many reasons why this might happen.

Even the simplest, most basic thing can affect a man’s fertility – his age, his stress levels, his general health, nutrient deficiencies, obesity, overheating, smoking, alcohol, cycling, genetics, free radicals, and the general pollution in the environment!

In most cases, it’s pretty difficult to pinpoint exactly what is the main cause and know what to prescribe in order to increase sperm levels.

Added to this problem, sperm is formed about 3 months before it is actually ejaculated. So if you want to know the cause of your low sperm count, you have to know what you were doing 3 months ago.

Therefore, if you’re a guy and you want your little guys (and girls) to have a greater chance of surviving when they are finally let loose – it’s probably a good idea to make positive changes to your lifestyle NOW!

Plus, if you’re an overweight, meat-eating, stressed-out cyclist, you’d probably be better off doing some swimming and taking a chill pill.

Some unproven old wives tales suggest that men should take cooler baths, no long bike rides, get lots of sleep, less caffeine, take vitamins, no tight jeans, and try to wear loose fitting underwear like boxer shorts, or crotchless underwear.

By the way, please remember that I’m not a medical expert, and that it takes just one sperm to make a baby. AND I’m kidding about the crotchless underwear, unless you’re into that kind of thing – in which case it may probably help you get pregnant!

Anyone know where to buy really “cool” men’s underwear?

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

Image from Joe Rivettto

Hi everyone! Meet the newest member of my family!

This cute little bundle of pink is Chelsea, my new niece. She’s 2 days old and she’s incredibly soft and squishy. She also has that new baby smell, which makes my ovaries glimmer with desire.

I love babies. I love their smell, their wrinkly skin, their baby sounds, their soft hair, their little noses, their teeny tiny fingers and toes.

In Australia, “being clucky” refers to that conscious or unconscious need to have a baby. I assume the terms comes from the sound a chicken makes when looking after its chicks.

Well, I’m a clucky woman, and even more so now that I’ve decided that I WANT ANOTHER BABY.

A few months ago, my 4 year old made me a rice bag baby based on his exact birth weight.

I recently found this “rice bag baby” under my son’s bed. I dragged it out, dusted it off, and as I picked it up carefully, I held it in my arms in THAT WAY YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CARRY REAL BABIES.

Then instead of walking to the cupboard to put the rice baby back, I suddenly deviated to the living room. I sat down on the couch and cradled the little baby in my arms, thinking, “Oh my. I remember doing this only yesterday. I could get used to this.”

Yes. I felt stupid. It was, after all, a bag of rice.

But ah, when you rock a baby to sleep, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed – like you’re doing the most important job in the universe.

WHERE’S THIS BABY? I NEED ONE NOW!!

…

(By the way. I’m not pregnant this month.)

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

Women are hormonal creatures. More so when pregnant. And maybe even more so when TRYING TO FALL PREGNANT.

Thus I’ve been experiencing some very strange hormonal symptoms lately.

Firstly, I have a hormonal condition called Foggy Labour Memory – where I’ve had two babies, yet I can’t exactly remember all the details for each one. I can’t seem to recall how painful the pain was for each birth. Did I give birth without drugs? I can’t remember? Did that doctor really take 2 hours to stitch me up – while I was awake?

There must be a hormonal plug that stops a woman from remembering her labour pain, or there would definitely be less babies on this earth!

Then there’s the Baby Clothes Hormone. Which goes off every time I walk past the baby clothes section. LOOK AT THESE CUTE BOOTIES! OMG! WHAT GORGEOUS EMBROIDED FLOWERS! THEY’RE SO TEENSY TINY! AWWWWWW.

As I dig through my son’s old Size-OOOO clothes, I am completely blown away. I remember how huge that OOOO jumpsuit once looked! And how my baby would look like a frog in a pillowcase! The sleeves and legs of the jumpsuit would dangle and flop, and I wondered when-o-when would my baby ever grow big enough to fill them!

Then the Pink Hormone. OOOOH! WHAT A CUTE PINK TOP! WITH A MATCHING PINK SKIRT! AND PINK SHOES! AND PINK SOCKS! Did I mention I’m trying natural methods to conceive a girl?

Then there’s a Nesting Hormone. Where the long-term-planner in my brain switches on and I start doing things like buying maternity bras because they are on sale, and cleaning out the spare bedroom to make way for a cot.

Also there’s a The Clock Is Ticking Hormone. My two sons are growing up so quickly – they are riding bikes and lecturing me about wildlife conservation. My friends are approaching their 30s and 40s. We’re getting old! Time is catching up!

And lastly, the ever-potent Holding Someone Else’s Baby Hormone. I’m sure this needs no explanation.

I’ve read somewhere that there is a condition called pseudocyesis (false pregnancy) where a woman can have all the symptoms of pregnancy – morning sickness, sore breasts, expanding belly, even foetal movement – but NOT have a foetus inside her. Apparently the cause is attributed to the struggle of emotions and desires.

The human body is surely a weird and wonderful creation!

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.

Original image from Ninemsn

Trying for a baby isn’t as easy – or as fun – as most people think it is.

The reality is, when the PRESSURE IS ON, all notions of spontaneity, enjoyment and magic is lost from the moment.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, if you’re like us (trying to conceive a girl) trying to increase chances of choosing a particular gender is all about timing sex in relation to ovulation.

You already know weeks ahead, exactly what day and time you need to have sex. You have to mark it in your calendar. Put an alert on your phone. Write a post it note on the mirror. Add it to your To Do List.

Tuesday, 10pm – HAVE SEX!

Then when the day arrives, not only do you have to have sex. You have to have LOTS of it. Cancel dinner with friends. Forego your favourite TV show. Put the kids to bed early, because it’s baby making time.

After all, in order to increase the chances of conception, lots of sperm are needed in that small window of opportunity.

Twice a day? Again? Right now? Can you wait a minute, I just want to finish this crossword. Oh wait, let me defrost the chicken for dinner too.

It becomes a chore, not far from cleaning the oven, emptying the worm farm and picking up the dry cleaning.

Like I said, no magic.

Then again. Technically speaking, us women don’t really have to do much. It’s the men who do all the work. Their contribution is … small, but unquestionably important.

Us women are just supposed to lie still… but that’s next week’s topic!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

Warning : I must give a warning to men and women who are a bit squeamish. This post is all about WOMEN’S CERVICAL MUCUS.

LOOK AWAY NOW! LALALALALALA!

The other week, I mentioned that there is scientific evidence that boy sperm swim faster but die quicker, and girl sperm swim slower but last longer.

The Shettles Method is based on this idea. It describes natural techniques that increase the chances of having a boy or girl. Apparently it boasts a 75% – 90% success rate, if done correctly!

According to the book I am reading, one of the major principles of the Shettles Method (and Billings Method) is to know when you ovulate – that is, when the egg is released from the ovary. All women’s cycles are different, so it’s actually pretty tricky to pinpoint the day of ovulation. One method suggested is to use a Cervical Mucus Chart.

Now. Maybe it’s just me. But when I think of A CHART, I think of a reward chart. Little coloured squares, with smiling cartoon faces and big gold stars. But no, it’s not that kind of chart.

Apparently your mucus changes depending on where you are in your cycle, and this helps to indentify when you ovulate. So you are encouraged to ASSESS your mucus on a daily basis.

You know. ASSESS. Like get down real close. Touch. Smell. Feel the consistency between your fingers.

Apparently you have write your results on a calendar. Use words like elastic, egg white, cloudy, sticky, gluey, stringy, slippery, clear, white, pink, brown, yellow! There are even International Charting Symbols!

At this point I put the book down and gave up instantly. I was utterly defeated by the major eeew-ness of it all. I said to my husband, I’m not going to write about mucus on my website.

He made a noise like a chicken! Directed at ME! ME! A COWARD!

So I instantly began to read a chapter OUT LOUD to him. Inflicting every single diagram and photograph on him, by waving it under his nose. LOOK AT THAT! YES IT’S A PHOTOGRAPH OF SOMEONE’S MUCUS! AND YES! IT’S STRINGY!

So after reading it OUT LOUD for a week, I’m over it. I’m over the eeew-ness.

I can proudly say – I’ve had two babies and a mucus chart, surely nothing can gross me out now. I am truly a woman.

But for my poor husband? He’s definitely a chicken.

You all still here? Do you still respect me? Are you still my friend?

…

By the way, you can read more about The Shettles Method in Dr Shettles’ Book, called How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby.

I also have a book called, The Billings Method (the one with the gross pictures) and you can read all about it on this website. If you really want.

More next week!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

Image from BOM

So, we’re not pregnant.

I think I kind of knew anyway – I didn’t seem to feel like there was anything different. Yet. To be honest, when I saw only one pink line on the “pee stick”, I still felt… disappointed.

I call them “pee sticks” since you have to catch some of your pee in a little cup and dip the stick into it. If you have got something magical going on inside, you see two lines appear. If not – just one, single, lonely line.

Waiting THREE ETERNAL MINUTES for the pregnancy test to develop feels like a lottery. It feels like you’re scratching away on a scratch-and-win card. It feels like you’re the last contestant on a game show and the clock is ticking. It feels like that 30 million dollars could be yours and your LIFE COULD CHANGE IN AN INSTANT.

But no. It’s not to be.

Yes, I’m slightly disappointed. With my first son, Callum, we fell pregnant the very first time we tried to conceive! With my second son, Sean, we fell pregnant on the second month.

So I sit here and think about how I feel, I can quickly see how month after month can pass. How months slowly turn into a year. Then 5 years.

Realising this, I feel tiny pangs of heartbrokenness for the countless couples I know who have been trying, for years, to have their first child. Man, it must be hard.

I’ve got to keep things in perspective. I have to be grateful that I’ve already got two healthy kids. And there are people who just can’t have kids at all.

Ah. It’s not the end of the world. There is always next month. And more pee sticks!

More next week!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

It’s very amusing to discover what you remember as a 14 year old in human biology class. All those things you thought were utterly pointless – oh look, turns out they come in handy after all.

I knew that there are two kinds of sperm – the ones carrying the Y chromosome (boy sperm) and the ones carrying the X chromosome (girl sperm).

But I DID NOT KNOW, until recently, that boy sperm behave differently to girl sperm! It’s been scientifically proven that :

Boy sperm are smaller, swim faster, but die quicker.

And girl sperm move slower, but they last longer.

Keeping this in mind, since we want a GIRL, we are supposed to have sex every day from 2-3 days BEFORE ovulation, and none during and after ovulation. This allows the boy sperm to die off and gives the girl sperm longer time to swim to the egg.

Therefore, having sex close to ovulation (and none during or after) boosts the chances of conceiving a girl.

It’s all about timing.

It’s all about knowing exactly when you ovulate.

And.

I’m sure it’s all about that notorious phone call, “HONEY COME HOME NOW! WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX. RIGHT. NOW.”

More next week!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

I assume everyone here knows that you need a sperm and an egg to make a baby.

So in order to have our 3rd baby, my husband and I needed to make sure we were in good working condition. We had little reason to be worried about the health of my eggs, since I managed to produce two healthy young children.

However, my husband has a complicated medical history. He was sick in 2004, yet we managed to conceived our second child during that time. Then he underwent multiple, major surgeries and chemotherapy treatment, any one of which could have affected his ability to make sperm.

We decided to get his fertility checked out. He went to visit a “reproduction clinic” to get someone to look at his sperm through a microscope.

Now, you’d think that a modern clinic would have sophisticated, medical, scientific processes to obtain and examine men’s sperm. Well, no.

He’s given a small plastic jar and led to a small room with a couch — and a pile of x-rated magazines. He then has to “produce” a sample – manually – while the scientist waits outside.

I asked my husband, “So um. Did they say things like, ‘Let me know if you need any help?’ ”

After the successful “production” of the sample, my husband handed his jar to the scientist, who casually used a pipette to suck up a still-warm sample, squirted it onto a slide, threw it under a microscope, and the sperm appeared on a TV screen.

Apparently they look very cool – not like tadpoles – but like tiny black diamonds with extremely long tails.

The scientist did a quick count. The bad news is that my husband has a rather low sperm count. There aren’t many of them. Yet they’re all wriggling their tails happily – which in medical terms, means his sperm are motile. And that’s the good news! They’re POTENT!

Cool! Now all we have to do is hook them up with my girls over a bottle of red wine.

More next week!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

Image from Corante.