*They are too young!*

Right???

I grew up in a very conservative Chinese Christian environment. And my parents certainly never sat me down and explained the birds and the bees to me. I just worked it out from playground gossip, health education lessons at school and girly magazines.

So I guess I’ve grown up believing that, when people get together and talk, you’re not supposed to talk openly about sex!

But my husband was raised very differently. He grew up believing that kids should be very well informed with all the nitty gritty details about sex, drugs and alcohol by their parents. Especially before they are taught these things by their friends, media and other people in their lives.

Which, yes, is my view now.

So since he is more practiced at it, he got the job of talking to the kids about it!

But how much information is too much?

He decided to answer their questions fully, but not to go beyond that.

Walking home from school one day, one my kids said the “F” word, which they had learned from other kids in school, and my husband reminded him that he is not allowed to say it.

This is kind of how the conversation went.

SON: “Sorry Dad.”

HUBBY: “That’s okay… just remember not to say it again, especially not to your teachers, and not to Mum, and ESPECIALLY not to your grandmother!

A long silence.

SON: “Dad, what does “F##K” actually mean anyway?”

HUBBY: “Well, it means the same as sex. It’s a rude word for sex.”

SON: “Oh.”

A long silence.

HUBBY: “Do you know what sex is?”

SON: “Of course!”

A long silence.

HUBBY: “Well, what do you think sex is?”

SON: “It’s what mum looks at on her computer all the time.”

HUBBY: “REALLY?!!”

SON: “Yes, she is always looking a those people with no clothes on, in their underwear. And in those magazines she has.”

HUBBY: “Oh! No, that’s not sex. That’s just fashion.”

SON: “But they haven’t got any clothes on!”

HUBBY: “Um. Um. Er… Um. When you haven’t got many clothes on, that’s not sex, it’s just being naked.”

SON: “So what IS sex?”

A long silence. Dad sighs deeply.

SON: “Well?!”

HUBBY: “Weeeeell… Sex is when two adult people take all their clothes off and have a really close cuddle, and kiss.”

SON: “That’s yuck! Why do they do that??”

HUBBY: “Because it feels nice, it’s exciting, and they want to be really nice to each other.”

SON: “Don’t they get germs?!”

HUBBY: “Yes, you can get germs. So you have to be really careful who you have sex with.”

SON: “I don’t want to do that… it’s disgusting!”

HUBBY: “ Well, yes, it is disgusting, but when you’re an adult, you’ll really want to do it.”

SON: “Why?”

HUBBY: “Let’s see… why… okay. It’s nature’s way of making babies. When a man and a woman have sex, a little bit of the man goes into the woman, and that’s how the baby starts to grow inside the woman. It’s really amazing. But you have to be very careful not to make a baby until you are sure you are ready for it. Babies are a LOT of work.”

Another long silence.

SON: “Do you and mum have sex?”

HUBBY: “Ah..well, yes, yes we… have. That’s how we got three babies. That’s where you came from!”

Another long silence.

SON: “That is soooo disgusting.”

Awkward silence.

HUBBY: “Hey, look at the cool old car!! That’s a 1964 Model S Valiant!”

SON: “Wow, COOL! Can we get one!?!”

And hubby was SO RELIEVED that the son didn’t want to know the EXACT PLUMBING DETAILS OF SEX and exactly how the little bit of the man gets into the woman.  But no doubt, that question will come soon enough.

And when the question comes, I’ll be saying…”GO ASK YOUR DAD!”.

My baby is 1½ years old! And he is definitely the most easy-to-look-after kid I’ve had.

He is at a SUPER CUTE age – constantly exploring the world, happy with the simplest things, full of smiles and giggles, and not old enough to talk back!

I took this photo of Liam in our backyard. We were eating an apple together and I peeled off the “Grown in WA” sticker and stuck it on his nose. He laughed and walked around the garden with it on his scrunched up little nose, snorting like a pig. Too cute.

At this age, people seem to ask me these questions.

Does he say any words?
His latest favourite thing to say is “READY GO!” Tragically, he picked it up from the computer game Super Mario Kart.

He says heaps of other words, I think 24 in total, like – daddy, mama, ball, water, down, book, draw, star, car, ear, pop corn, banana, meow, see ya, bye, poo, wow, more, gor gor (Chinese for big brother), bike ride, shoe, sock, and of course, ready and go.

Lots of people have told me that this is pretty advanced for a 18month old, so please don’t compare if you have a toddler too!

He can also point to his ears, head, mouth, nose, and belly button. And follow lots of verbal instructions.

Does he eat well?
He doesn’t drink any milk at night, formula or cow’s milk.
He can eat like there is no tomorrow, if he likes the food. He is a little fussy. He loves pasta, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, peas and corn, carrots, noddles, toast, sausages.

How many teeth does he have?
He has 16 teeth. 8 top, 8 bottom.

His sleep patterns?
He still sleeps from 6:30pm at night to 6:30am in the morning. He likes to have at least 1 hour nap sometime during the day, but he’s not too fussed WHEN he has it.

Is he active?
Hell yes.

Does he get along with his older brothers?
Yes! The other two kids are really, really good with him. They know all the rules and how to look after him. They are pretty helpful with keeping an eye on him.

Have you begun toilet training?
HA! No! But he does walk over to tell me when he’s done a poo. (He looks at me with a worried expression and pats his tummy.) It’s rather convenient.

I didn’t teach him that at all. He just does it.

Photo: We were going to a wedding and I bought Liam a special little outfit. Shirt $2 and pants for $3 from an op shop. And just as predicted, he smeared tomato sauce over the shirt.

At this age, kids also start to pick up “weird little habits”, and they just keep doing them no matter what. It’s actually quite cute, but weird and annoying.

Weird habit #1
When he wants to eat a banana, he screams NANA-NANA-NANA!
If I peel a banana for him, he throws it on the floor, and keeps screaming NANA-NANA-NANA!
So I give him another UNPEELED banana – and he’ll sit there happily eating the banana, peel and all – starting from the middle, and tearing it open with his teeth like a monkey.

Weird Habit #2
He likes to be bare foot on his right foot. EVERY SINGLE TIME I put shoes on him, he’ll take off his right shoe and sock. He then hides the shoe and sock somewhere. So it’s impossible for me to find it, and I get so frustrated, that I just leave him with one bare foot.

And sometimes when I’m in a rush trying to head out the door, I can’t find ANY matching pairs of shoes or socks, so I feel like a dumbass dressing my son in mis-matching shoes. And he’ll still take off the right shoe + sock.

People will come up to me in the shops, and say “Are you aware your son has lost one shoe?”

(He’s happy to wear sandals on both feet though.)

Weird Habit #3
He loves drawing and shouting DRAW DRAW DRAW!
But when I give him a pencil and he munches the lead bit off. To him, pencils are a kind of fibrous snack.

Weird Habit #4
He likes to put stickers on his face. I wonder where he learned that from?

Weird Habit #5
Maybe not a “weird” habit – he sucks his thumb! We really didn’t mind it when he was little, and he only did it for a few minutes before he went to sleep.

But now he does it all the time, and it’s just a comfort and boredom thing. He sucks it so often that a few months ago, the skin on his thumb became soft (read: digested), gross red, and badly infected, and he had to be on antibiotics.

Since then, we’ve had to sew up the hands of his bed clothes, so he can’t get to it at night.

So, it finally happened. My first son, Callum, has reached the age where his baby teeth have started to fall out.

Most of his classmates already have large holes in their smiles (like they’ve been in a boxing match), and some already have front teeth that are too big for their mouths (so they look like rabbits).

And Callum couldn’t be happier about joining them.

But he’s not concerned about “keeping-up” with the other kids… it’s a money thing!

When Callum’s first tooth began to feel loose, my husband was so excited that he made the mistake of promising that the “tooth fairy” would pay Callum $5 per tooth.

Callum quickly worked out that he had 20 teeth to lose, which means he could make $100 in total! (He is saving up to buy a Nintendo DS, and he needs all the money he can get.)

I tried to get husband to reduce the price to $1 or $2 per tooth, but he says “a deal is a deal”.

So now we have to STOP OUR SON FROM PULLING HIS OWN TEETH OUT!!!

His logic is… they are going to come out anyway, right?!

Well, yesterday I caught him somewhat cheating.

“I was knitting on my knee and a knight knocked on my knob and asked for a knife.”

6 words in one sentence!

I didn’t know whether to applaud or scold!

My 14 month old baby has an insatiable curiosity for the world around him.

He relentlessly picks up and examines everything! It drives me crazy!

The other day I was sitting in the sunshine, enjoying a cup of tea by the river.

Liam had eaten a scone, spilled a cup of water, torn open packets of sugar, whizzed my tea bag over his head… and now left me in peace while he toddled around the playground.

When I slurped the last of my tea, I SAW THIS!

He had placed a little sauce dish into my cup of tea!

Ugh, how did I not notice?!?

We were at the beach a few weeks ago, and I took this photo of Liam as he chased after waves and got splashed by his brothers. I simply love his expression because it just captures the sheer happiness, exhilaration and uninhibited, screaming joy of being a kid.

Liam is developing a very strong personality! He wants to be like his big brothers, and when he feels that he is left out, he SCREAMS! When he wants something, he SCREAMS! If something is taken away, he SCREAMS!

I guess it’s not so much of a scream… it’s more of a LOUD frustrated, outraged complaint – EERRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!

But other than that, he’s a very happy kid.

As long as he can explore the outdoors, have singing and cuddle time, and a biscuit in his hand, he’s good as gold.

As I mentioned last week, I have been doing a lot of cycling with Liam. He sits in the child bike seat while I ride. And when we reach my favourite park by the river, sometimes we stop, have a stretch, play on the grass and share a snack.

Such a simple moment… and these pictures will help me remember it forever, after he’s grown up and got his own life.

It’s one of the reasons I keep blogging, I guess.

I fall in love with my kids all over again about twice a day. Often, I’m at breaking point with their bickering and fighting, and their lack of gratitude. Even when they are not actually fighting, their noise, mess and energy irritate the crap out of me.

But then they’ll do something that makes me smile.

Recently, they saved up some pocket money and bought a $2.50 smiley ball each.

I was very impressed with their purchase, on many levels.

Firstly because the smiley faces were so darn cute.

Secondly, they knew that lollies and chocolates will be eaten up and BE GONE, but the balls will last longer. So in that sense, they understand the value of money.

Thirdly, as I see the balls lying on the grass, grinning up at the sky, the image seems to capture the essence of the two awesome kids I have – all their noise, mess and energy.

This is another drawing by my second son, who almost 5 year old.

I must be honest and tell you, that deep within my heart, I was not particularly inspired when I saw it.

I mean, when my FIRST SON was 3.5 he drew this pirate. When he was almost 4, he drew Buzz Lightyear using all the correct colours and shapes. And when he was 5, he made this robot bird creature which took my breath away the moment I laid eyes on it. The designer in me sung to the high heavens.

SO when, when my second son dragged me over to show me what he had drawn, I had to force myself to SMILE!

WOW! WHAT A CUTE LITTLE PICTURE! HAHA I LIKE HOW THE GUY HAS CROSSES OVER HIS EYES! THAT’S SO CUTE SEAN!

And I knew in my heart that I had told a little lie.

A lie that all parents make because they love their children. We have to boost their confidence, somewhat, right? You really don’t want to be saying, OH actually that’s a pretty crap drawing for a 5 year old. Stick to letters mate.

I felt a little bad, and wondered if he heard the FORCEDNESS of my feedback. So I asked him what the picture was about.

He told me:

Well this guy on the edge likes to draw moustaches on paintings of people. And he crept into this house and saw a painting of a man, and he drew a moustache on him! But he didn’t know that the painting was actually a real man who was standing very, very still. on the other side of a window frame. So he looked like a painting! And now the real man had a moustache and he was angry so he booted the first man out of the house and the arrow shows that he flew off the side of the chalk board.

OMG I fell over with laughter! An honest, belly shaking laughter. The way he just blurted it all out from no where was so funny! A complete story whizzing around in his little head! Hilarious and creative! It was totally unexpected.

I was definitely buzzing from delight, a touch of guilt, and a slap on the wrist for comparing the personalities and abilities of my children.

Callum may be a great artist, but Sean will be a great story-teller!

My 1 year old baby walks now. A lot.

It is his preferred mode of transportation, unless he is tired.

It’s amazing. First he took a few steps. Then a few more.

Now he can change directions, turn corners, reverse. He can even stop and pick up something.

As you can see, his latest trick is to walk behind a ball and kick it along.

The kid dribbles a soccer ball!

Everyone who sees him is shocked by his hair colour.

It’s RED! Even I’m shocked!

There’s ginger hair on my husband’s side of the family. But what happened to the Asian genes??

You know, I first started talking about having a third baby in October 2007. I was considering the issues of two vs three kids. And every week since then, I’ve been writing a little bit about the whole journey in a series, Making Baby 3.

And it’s funny, because I often forget that for the last 3 years, a lot of my readers have been “on” this journey with me. So the fact that this baby is now ONE YEAR OLD… completely shocks some people.

They can’t believe how fast time flies! How kids grow up so quickly! How life can move along at such a swift pace! How they remember when he was first born!

That’s right! Life is short!

It scares some people. And heck, it scares me.

To see my little baby with 8 teeth and a cut on his nose, from where he fell into a rose bush. He’s so big now!

I remember the morning after I gave birth to Liam in such exquisite and vivid detail.

I remember pulling back the curtains in my hospital room and letting in a beautiful blue morning light. I opened the window a little bit to let some fresh air into the room too. I scooped up my baby from his cradle, lay him on the bed and changed him into a new outfit with polka dots.

I remember thinking, my goodness, I made a baby! How do I look after a baby again?

I turned him around so I could see his face and eyes, and he blinked slowly in a sleepy daze.

Now look at him!

It’s pretty hard to say what kind of personality Liam has. Overall he is very easy-going and undemanding, with a lot of energy and interest in the world.

I have a feeling that a big part of his personality will be defined by his big brothers. They are just the most amazing things in the world to him, and all he wants to do is follow them around.

Anyway, I love how these photos turned out! I love spontaneous and natural portraits!

I was mucking about with him on the floor, and I put a hat on his head. Then he just scrunched up his face and broke out in a series of cute, little, snorting laughs.

He is one cute and cuddly little guy, and I feel very, very blessed.