I think of my blog as a happy little island – in amongst the trouble and noise of the world. My blog is made up of (mostly) the good things that happen in my life. Yummy food, clothes, cute moments with my kids, inspirational moments. I really try to avoid negative issues in my writing.

But some things can’t be avoided.

Two and a half years ago, I wrote about a 4 year old Singaporean girl named Charmaine, who was suffering from a rare cancer. Her mother was raising money to have extremely expensive treatment in a New York hospital. Tens of thousands of strangers each gave a little, in their own way, to give Charmaine a shot at surviving.

Well, after two and a half years, the treatment options had run out, and cancer overtook little Charmaine. She died in October last year, but it has taken me till now to summon up the courage to mention it here.

She died. I hoped like crazy that she wouldn’t, but she did. I never knew Charmaine or her mother Cynthia, but her story was special to me because I have been in a similar situation.

If you have been reading my website for a long time, you might know, cancer is a topic especially close to me…my husband has nearly died twice, most recently in 2004, when our first child was only a year old.

We have been so lucky that he survived both times.

But it is still an almost daily fear of mine, of what might come back. I am reminded so frequently because a friend of mine, who has children the same age as mine, has breast cancer, and struggles everyday with the treatment and the uncertainty.

What makes Cynthia and Charmaine’s story so important to me is that it forces me – again – to realise how sad, scared and helpless I am.

It is so, so wrong when cancer takes someone so young, and in such an awful way.

Cynthia has kept a blog of her struggle to keep Charmaine in this world, through the whole of the illness. And she still writes this blog now.

I am in awe-filled respect of this woman, who has opened her heart so honestly, in a way I have not been able to.

She has told the whole story, from the shock of the diagnosis, to the hopeful fund-raising for the treatment, the endless, invasive treatments. Charmaine grows from 4 to 6 years old while all this is happening, her whole world shaped by her illness. Cynthia shares her fears, triumphs, and even confesses to praying, in the end days, that her own daughter will die to end the suffering.

If you want to realise how insignificant your own troubles are, if you think you have had a shitty day at work, or you just can’t stand your kids’ bad behaviour anymore, then I invite you to read this post, a few days before Charmaine dies. But I warn you, you will need to have a big box of tissues nearby.

Since Charmaine has died, Cynthia has continued to write about her feelings, of loss, anger, and then depression, and her attempt to make sense of what has happened.

In 2009, I met Lance Armstrong, the cycling champion who has had cancer, survived, and raised hundreds of millions of dollars for cancer research.

I was inspired by him. He survived, and he has communicated to a lot of people about fighting cancer.

And I am inspired by Cynthia too. She too has communicated the experience of cancer in her own, powerful way.

Now I’m hoping to find my own way to communicate about it.

I found this little white table about 3 years ago.

Someone was throwing it out and left it next to their driveway. I picked it up, carried it home, got rid of all the spiders and gave it a good clean.

It’s my favourite little table now, and one of my extra-special corners in my home. Filled with objects that only I’m allowed to place there.

I love the mix of white-washed neutral colours and natural textures.

I love the objects filled with memories – the little bird nest, the beautiful piece of driftwood, the special candle holder.

It makes me smile – every day.

I’ve been doing lots of cycling. Lots of getting up at 5:30am and leaving the house at 6am.

I go 2 or 3 times a week now.

The world is so different – and beautiful – at that time of day.

It’s funny.

I used to call myself a night owl.

Always preferring to work late into the night. Always reveling in the stillness and silence of 2am. I was energized by it.

But now I’m not so sure.

There’s something about dawn… that makes me feel alive.

Really, truly alive.

Liam loves watching Thomas the Tank Engine on TV.

And if you’re not familiar with the children’s TV show… Thomas is a train who hangs with a bunch of his train friends, and there’s a big dude who looks after them all, called “The Fat Controller”.

He’s the station master, or manager, or something like that.

Liam, unfortunately, is terrified of The Fat Controller.

And when Liam is terrified, he often gets his tongue tied. He mispronounces things.

So whenever Thomas the Tank Engine is on TV… I guarantee that 5 minutes into the show, Liam will run out of the TV room, screaming – “TURN THE FUKINGTROLLER OFF!!

It used to be funny, but not anymore.

Now, I don’t bat an eye. I don’t chuckle. I just comply.

And hope that my mother is never around when he watches Thomas the Tank Engine.

Here are my foodie highlights of the week.

Monday
Growing up as a kid, drinking chocolate milk shakes on a hot day after school – was such a treat!

So – on hot days – I love doing the same thing with my boys. Usually we experiment with berries, bananas, mango smoothies.

But you can’t beat a chocolate milk shake, with extra ice, so they turn out more like chocolate slushies, with Milo sprinkled on top. It’s heaven :)

Tuesday
We eat spaghetti bolognese once a week. On special occasions, my husband makes a special family treasure Maltese bolognese recipe (passed down from his Scottish mother!) – which he makes precisely and unwaveringly as stated in the recipe. And of course it turns out *perfect* every time.

But for me, I like to mix things up a bit. I don’t use recipes. I just throw in a little bit of this and that, whatever is in the fridge. It’s an amazing surprise all the time :)

This week was SNEAKY spag bog – it had lentils, cabbage, mushrooms and spinach hidden inside.

No one seemed to complain. Or even notice!

Wednesday
I made multi-grain rolls for dinner, which turned out really well.

But it took me HOURS to knead, wait, knead, wait, knead – and then to finally bake. Sure they were delicious, lovely and fresh – but ugh! To think you can buy a packet of buns for $3 at a supermarket.

Thursday
Today, I was having a BAD day. So I brought my toddler out to my favourite Asian food cafe and treated myself to an indulgent lunch treat – chicken feet noodles.

We shared it. It felt so nice to see my toddler enjoying it as much as I was. Of course, he didn’t know it was chicken feet.

The very best part? My husband (and my other kids) were not there to turn pale at the sight of me spitting out the chicken feet bones!

We watched *yet another* Chinese Dragon Dance this week.

My kids just love them. The drums. The dragons. The costumes. The buff kung-fu guys dancing around. It’s all very cool for them.

But for me? I get a little bored.

Don’t get me wrong. I like a bit of dragon dancing action. It’s just that I’ve seen it a LOT of them since I was a kid.

So I found myself wondering (and my mind wandering)… yawn, how could this be more interesting?

AH HA!

It would keep my attention a lot longer if the dancing guys were wearing a lot less clothes.

Do you think the idea will take off? Is that un-Chinese of me?

Last week, my husband and I attended a grand Chinese New Year Ball, held at the glitzy Burswood Resort and Casino.

Admittedly, we have been to quite a few gala balls held by the local Chinese community. Sometimes we go twice a year.

But hey, I love going to balls! I love the dressing up. I love the large ballroom filled with people wearing beautiful clothing. I love the food. And I especially love it when I know a lot of people there and get to chat to everyone. Oh and I do love to dance at the end of the night too!

On the other hand, for my dear husband, it is a bit of a chore. Firstly, he has little choice about his attire. He wears his same black suit every year (sometimes twice a year), with the same white shirt, with the same black shoes, and when I can’t stand it, I might go out and buy him a new tie.

Secondly, he’s deadly allergic to crustaceans – prawns, crab, lobster, oysters, mussels, abalone… and honestly, the biggest feature of a grand 10-course Chinese banquet is THE SEAFOOD. Everything is laced with seafood! The soup has crab! The spring rolls have prawns! The pork has shrimp paste! The vegetables have oyster sauce! The mushrooms have sliced abalone!

The only thing he can eat is the roast duck.

However, we never complain!

We always smile and laugh. In fact, we always make it our total and utter mission to enjoy the evening no matter what. Even if the music is bad. Even if the speeches are long and boring. Even if a waiter spills crab soup on my dress… we always have a good time, because we’re together AT A $200pp BALL!!

I wore my Pia Gladys Perey dress from Gosh Celebrity Fashion, which I wrote about in this post. It is such a beautiful dress to wear!

And my Vamp heels from GlamRockChic.

This is me showing off my golden nails and bling (from a mixture of brands). But the ones to note, which I’m wearing out for the first time, are my sparkly bracelet and knot ring from in this post.

During the evening, (when the prawns were being served) my husband went for a walk to stretch his legs and discovered that there was going to be an exclusive fireworks show, put on by the casino.

So we snuck out of the ball, followed some signs and joined a small crowd of people being ushered towards the car park. We found ourselves walking across a grassy field, in the dark and beside a small lake! The fireworks suddenly began, blasting into the air, just across the lake and a little beyond a row of cars! As you can see from the photo, it was a very busy fireworks display, and it went on for a LOOONG time. It was incredible!

We came back. I got a bit drunk. And I arranged various red things around my table for fun. Red much? We thought we were so funny. Well, you should have seen my RED face *flush* from drinking too much alcohol!

The very, very, VERY best thing about the whole evening… was that all our children were sleeping over my sister-in-law’s place… so my husband and I got to sleep in the next morning till 8am.

IT’S WAS FREAKING AMAZING!

Whenever I miss the hawker style food I love from my days in  Singapore or Malaysia, I always text my Dad and tempt him with one simple word – “Laksa?”

My family has been going to Spencer Village, in Thornlie, for years! It’s a long way from the city (nestled deep in the southern suburbs), but it’s still one of the best places in Perth to get my fix of favourite dishes.

I do believe it is the most Hawker-Food-Centerish food court in Perth. It is always packed full of Asian faces, and it has that “it’s all about the food, not the presentation” style of cuisine. It’s fast, simple, and great value!

This is my ABSOLUTE favourite. Coconut laksa with prawns, fish cake, chicken, tofu, mixed noodles, and a big wedge of lemon (I would actually prefer it with lime though).

This is my children’s favourite, Char Kway Teow. Flat rice noodles fried in a dark soy sauce, with fish cakes, chicken, prawns, bean sprouts and vegetables.

Personally, it’s a bit too healthy for me. I like mine with cockles and deep fried lard, the way I have had it in Singapore. (But I do prefer them to eat healthier!)

My husband tried something different today. Singaporean Indian style Briyani – which was fricking yum!

And a large jug of sweetened soy bean milk, to wash everything down.

*Full tummy happiness*

Sitting by the river at sunset.

My children in my lap.

Watching fireworks under the stars and the new moon.

Loving life.

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!!

xxx

The other day, I woke up at 5am to go for a 5:30am cycle.

It sounds a bit hard core, but my reason is that I feel that I’m such a cycling newbie, that I prefer to go when there are less cars, less pedestrians and fewer other cyclists on the cycle paths!

Not to mention, watching the sun rise is a just beautiful.

I rode 25km in 1.5 hours. Including a 5 minute stop.

Before I left, I ate a bowl of muesli + cereal and yoghurt.

During the ride I ate one strawberry muesli bar for fuel.

And when I came home at 7am, I made myself this.

Slow cooked omelette, with mushroom, tomatoes, basil and garlic butter. It was soooo delicious.

(Yes I did cook the eggs a bit more after I took this photo!)

Later at 10am, I packed all 3 of my kids and took them to the beach.

I also packed my inflatable boat. I love my boat. We take him everywhere now. He’s like our big sleepy animal, who sits permanently and obediently in our front seat. We perk him up once we hit the beach and he delivers hours of fun for the big kids (and me).

We play paddling games, pirate ships games, diving for treasure games, bump-a-boat games, hanging-on games, general kicking and splashing and just plain lazing around in the surf.

It is so, so much fun.

(My legs look soooo long in this photo, but they are not. My legs and the boat are both short!)

We also make sand castles. Lots of them.

Then we head home by 2pm, and every one is ready for an afternoon nap.

Especially me!

My children’s interest in anything cool and gross has often led me through a multitude of emotions, namely: annoyance, irritation, disgust, revulsion, fear… and as is so often the case, a new appreciation.

The boys found a dead rat behind the garden shed the other day.

The rat had been dead for a long time, and it had been cleaned out by the ants, who left nothing but the fur and the bones.

My boys separated the bones and the fur, and proudly brought the bones into the kitchen to give to me as a present.

Thanks guys!

I took pictures of the dead rat – on my kitchen benchtop – just to show them how much I liked their present.

The rat’s skull was pretty icky – like a poster of a rat-zombie horror movie. Screaming, eye-less, undead, yellowed skull with gnarly broken teeth. Ughh!

I thought I would spare you all from the gross-ness.

But check this out. These are the bones from a rat’s tail. They were teeny tiny, and I thought they were pretty cool.

One day I came home after my 6am cycle and I found a few things that made me want to cry – with joy.

1) My husband made banana pancakes for breakfast. There was a massive, freshly-made one sitting on the kitchen counter top, just for me.

2) He also made me a cup of tea, 15 minutes ago, so by the time I returned it was at the *perfect* temperature for me to slam it down fast. Just how I like it.

3) My 6 year old drew a picture and my 2 year old coloured it in (the bridge is pink!). Yes it’s me on a bike, riding on a bridge, over the river. And maybe a shark?

Had coffee with a girlfriend in the leafy suburb of Applecross last week. It was a beautiful day for sitting outside, under the jacaranda trees, sipping fine coffee and catching up on 20 years of friendship. I wore  bright blue jeans.

We were in Ikea the other day, eating their famous Swedish meatballs. I LOVE Swedish meatballs. But my kids do not.

Boy – Tastes like dog meat.
Me – Umm, you haven’t eaten dog meat before.
Boy – Yes I have.
Me – No you haven’t
Boy – YES I HAVE!
Me – WHERE HAVE YOU EATEN DOG MEAT??
Boy – Mum. I eat dog meat all the time!
Me – NO YOU HAVEN’T!!
Boy – YOU’VE EATEN IT! AND EVEN DAD!! WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?!?!
Me – What are you talking about?!?!
Boy – HOT DOGS MUM!! WE EAT IT ALL THE TIME!! UGH!!

(And the kid had the audacity to roll his eyes at me in that teenager-ish way!!)

We went to a bowling party, and my 8yo son played one of those CLAW GRABBING ARCADE GAMES.

You know, the ones that we always say, “No you can’t play that. Don’t waste your money. It’s too hard. You’ll never win anything. $2 for one try? It’s like flushing money down the toilet. Imagine what else you can buy with all that money. Those things are designed so no one can win. No one ever wins from playing them.”

But my kid won – not one – but TWO large Angry Bird toys!

OMG my boy is a genius!

While I was SOOOO thrilled for him, like, on the verge of worshiping how cool and clever he was, I was very aware that…
1) All the other boys at the party were already worshiping him (and were insanely jealous).
2) I’ll never be able to warn him, or his siblings, off those Claw Games again. Crap.

Vegetarian meal for this week – Pumpkin, Chickpea and Lentil curry. It was absolutely delicious!!

We celebrated the new year with my side of the family. My dad invited about 60 family and friends to his home, where we enjoyed a huge spread of delicious, mouth-watering, home-cooked food – curries, stews, noodles, pasta, salad, seafood, roasted meats.

On new year’s day, we went to see fireworks by the river. We sat right on the edge of the river, extremely close to the fireworks. It was pretty amazing to see all the explosions, colour and sparkles across your whole field of vision. And it was even cooler to HEAR and FEEL the explosions echo through your body.

My older children have seen fireworks before, so they watched with cheerful fondness. But my youngest child went from wailing and crying, to covering his mouth with ecstatic glee and amazement.

For the past week, I have been waking up at 6am to go cycling – every other morning. My husband and I alternate our cycling days, which makes things fun between us.

However, for some reason, the weather on MY ALTERNATE days have always been shocking for cycling. This particular day, there was a storm brewing, and the wind was SO STRONG that the trees were blowing around dangerously, threatening to snap their branches off.

It was so windy, my eyes were watering and my legs were burning from all the extra effort I needed to keep myself upright!

All this cold, stormy weather has made me a little excited about the new season ahead. And inspired me to do a bit of shopping. As in real life shopping.

I hit the post new year sales and bought a few things – a swimsuit, top, nail colours, and this new knit – I’m LOVING THE AQUA!!

I also bought a new 2T external hard drive.

I walked up to the counter at the electronics store, and there were 3 guys standing behind it. I asked one guy… what was the difference between 2.0 USB and 3.0 USB (because there was a $100 difference) and all 3 guys – and I’m serious – started talking to each other, just like it was a scene in The Big Bang Theory.

I couldn’t stop laughing. They were all so geeky and funny and adorable in that geeky way.

Geeks are so cute.

I have been making lots of vegetarian meals this week. I’m loving mushroom and tomato salad at the moment.

The other day we ate pumpkin, feta, spinach and herb pizzas for dinner. I had one pizza all to myself!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

xxx

Helloooo-ooooo 2012!! Everyone seems to be a bit shocked and traumatized by how quickly the new year has come around. But for me, this new year is really, really exciting!!

I’m totally ecstatic about all my plans, dreams and hopes for this year.

Here are 10 of them so far. I plan to :

1) Cycle a whole lot more!

2) Eat the most amazing salads from my own garden and kitchen.

3) Join a gym. Haha how clichéd is that? I actually won 1 month of unlimited classes (including Zumba, Konga, Hip Hop, Pilates, Pump, Combat, Balance, Taichi, Yoga, Spin and Boxing) at a local gym, so I’m very keen to check them ALL out.

4) Date nights. Yes my husband and I still go out together every Wednesday. Just the two of us. This year I plan to visit every brand new bar or cafe in Perth. There have been some fabulous ones popping up all over the place.

5) Me Time (and Pre-Kindergarten). My youngest child will be going into a 3 year old kindy program, which is 5 hours a week. He is literally SO excited and practically falling over himself to “go to school”. I am both happy and melancholy about it. And hope to plan my precious me-time wisely.

6) More writing. With my iphone and a new tablet, I hope to be doing a lot more sitting in parks along the river and doing more writing. Is this a fantasy? Can people really do work in parks? In cafes? We shall see!

7) Getting involved in something that each of my boys are interested in. This turns out to be cooking with my 8 year old and gardening with my 6 year old. Not to mention, I have to learn how to play Plants Vs Zombies :P

8) Start a creative project. My creative side is really itching to do or try something tangible! Painting, sewing, DIY, anything!

9) Landscape my backyard. We have a few outdoor projects coming up this year. New paving, gazebo, new garden beds. Fun fun!

10) I have new and big things planned for my blog this year. If you haven’t already, please sign up to my newsletter and updates – scroll up to see the sign-up box!

I hope everyone had a wonderful start to the year and that you fulfill your dreams and plans for the year ahead!

xxx

This year we went to spend Christmas with my husband’s family. 

They live out in the country so we don’t get to see them often. They are an absolute pleasure to be with, so welcoming and so gracious of our noisy, hyper children.

The trip takes about 8 hours in the car. And it is a long, hot journey on the straight, flat West Australian road.

This Christmas, our in laws have decided to sell the family home of 35 years and move down to the city.

There is definitely a strong sense of sadness, finality and mixed feelings in the air. But I guess for me, it’s given me an opportunity to contemplate life, family, hardships, love, promises… and the all the goodness and blessings in my life.

Christmas this year was a very, very simple and meaningful affair. We didn’t have a stylish tree, or a mountain of presents, or an indulgent dinner, nor copious amounts of sugary treats and alcohol. 

I discovered that small country towns have very limited grocery supplies! But I still managed to whip up a lovely Christmas Eve dinner for everyone.

There was a moment in my preparations when I got quite upset because I didn’t have RED Christmas napkins for the table setting. But I quickly learned how to just LET IT GO.

My boys bought me several ring stacks (I drew pictures for them and I was impressed that they found the right ones!).

They also got me an inflatable kayak, but we had to leave that back at home as it wouldn’t fit in the boot of the car.

I’ve been going out for contemplative sunset jogs every evening. 

I absolutely love the quiet and the stillness of country roads. I will miss this.

And look who I bumped into during my run.

A beautiful friendly horse, trotted over to me to say hello. Stumbling across animals in the wild is always so cool. (Ok so the horse wasn’t exactly wild, but I did see lots of lizards, rabbits, foxes and thankfully no snakes!)

But most of all, I will miss the star gazing.

The night skies of the country with its glittering blanket of diamonds is the most breathtaking and  romantic sights I’ve ever seen. I will definitely miss this.

Walking hand in hand with my family, under a spectacular setting sun.

Thinking about happiness, love, laughter, good times and being blessed.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas shared with loved ones!!

xxx

Every second day or so, I wake up early to go for a cycle.

I’m trying to improve my fitness… and it seems to be working.

I ride my same route in less time. And I hurt less after each ride!

Today I realised that the best part of my ride is the view.

The river is beautiful at that time of day.

God I love summer mornings.

During my ride – deep down – I think I’m a terrible cyclist because I’m always looking around.

I TOTALLY have no focus!

I notice the texture of the grass, the way the light hits the leaves, the shape of the gum nuts in the trees, whether the trees have flowered and what species they are, the birds darting across on my left, the number plate of the van that drove past…

It’s visual white noise.

But I love it :)

On the weekend, we went to visit some friends who own a fruit orchard.

We spent the day taking a tour of the orchard, picking fruit, eating fruit, working the cherry-picker, riding on quad bikes, and of course, having a cup of tea and some tim-tams back at the farm house.

There’s something utterly beautiful about walking through a field of fruit trees, listening to the farmer talk about his fruit, the soil, the weather, the colour of the leaves.

It was almost like listening to spiritual enlightenment – you know, stuff you need to know at a very fundamental and basic level. Vital! Critical! Information for the survival of the human race!

Ah, the smell of the earth, the smell of the leaves, the fruit, the dampness of the air, the richness of life – everywhere – it was dizzying. Happiness inducing dizziness. My husband and I were walking hand in hand with the biggest smiles on our faces. Glowing.

The trees were overburdened with amazing looking fruit. These are nectarines. My eyes were bugging out of my head. I so wish I had the knowledge and skill to produce fruit like this.

It’s kind of funny how, even as a gardener myself, after years of shopping at supermarkets, I’ve gotten completely disconnected to where and how fruit are produced.

Basically I was rather excited by the fact that… I could just LOOK at a fruit, reach out, pluck it with a quick twist, sink my teeth into its juicy flesh and OH MY GOD experience the juiciness and sweetness that was made from this tree! I am eating part of this earth!

Amazing.

We plucked fruit from our allocated trees and filled 3 of these crates.

We split up the harvest between several families and I came home with a huge tray of mixed fruit.

We all sat under the fruit trees in the warm heat of the sweet, summer afternoon. We ate nectarines, apricots and pears, until our bellies were full.

My husband, my three children and I… we had a fantastic time and we were indeed glowing.

I made a new batch of play dough for Liam and he ate it.

School holidays have begun. 6 weeks of fun! God help me.

Shopping trips and kiddy parties are tiring.

Dessert: Chopped, chocolate peanuts melted inside hot, crispy croissants.

I went to a Christmas party and went home with the crazy Christmas Hat! Woot! (Photo taken by Lisa!)

I’ve been cycling a lot. Trying to improve my speed, distance and overall fitness.

Some weekends ago, one of my besties held a birthday dinner and drinks in Northbridge.

This is a photo of us – Lisa and I – rocking it on the streets, in our matching colour-blocking, waiting for the Mardi Gras Pride parade to start. The streets were blocked off, the crowds lined the pavement, there was such a incredible energy in the air.

Leading up to the night, I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to the evening of partying. I haven’t been out with my Girlfriends Without Children in the longest time.

When was the last time I went out drinking, clubbing, dancing, karaoke-ing and eating Asian supper at 2am? It’s been a while!

The theme for the night was COLOUR BLOCKING and here’s a bit of happy-snap goodness.

Top Left: Shane Newton (designer for ZSADAR), me and Alister (designer for Malachi).

Top Right: Matt in head to toe Ralph Lauren, including yellow pants!!

Bottom Left: Alicia Sorgiovanni (designer for On Tour) and I in matching green.

Bottom Right: Lisa (designer for Generics) and I showing off our styling-prowess.

I had a great night out! I missed out on the dancing and karaoke, but hey I was in bed by 1am!