Yes yes, parenting is incredible. Being a parent is amazing blah blah blah.
But sometimes parenting is shitty.
LIKE REALLY SHITTY.
Sometimes my kids make me sooo00000oo fuuuuuuuuriously mad that I’m constantly screaming and shouting at them. I turn into this monster I can’t recognise. Angry shit comes out of my mouth and I hate myself for it.
Why do I even have to SAY things like:
…Don’t throw knives at the kitchen door!!!!
…Don’t walk through the house with muddy shoes!!!!
…Don’t draw on the furniture with permanent markers!!!!
…What are you THINKING when you do things like that????
It feels like a part of me dies when I have to say things a hundred times over. Again and again and again and again. All day I’m chasing them around the house being a horrible, shouty, nagging mother.
…Put your plates away.
…Pick up after yourself.
…Don’t leave your towels on the floor.
…Don’t eat straight from the cereal box!
…Don’t leave your school bag in the doorway!
…Don’t leave your shoes lying around in the hall!
…Is it so hard to rinse your own cup and put it on the dish rack!?
So it’s time to set some CONSEQUENCES right?
Big consequences. So that they’ll learn to focus on their actions, right?
Like “ZERO screen-time for a WEEK!” How’s that for a consequence?
Problem is that they rack up 4 weeks worth of ZERO SCREEN-TIME… and now what? Who has to enforce it? That’s right! Us!
Sometimes I can’t see the end of the tunnel. Each day is a slow, painful slog through bickering, fights, rules, discipline, homework, moods, shouting, tantrums, tears.
Sometimes, I just need a break.
Or a hug.
Sometimes, I just need one thing to make me smile.
Usually, it’s just enough to see me through the day.
Usually, it all turns good again.
And usually… it all becomes incredible again.