The other day I went to my dad’s place and discovered – to my delight – that he had bought a tin of wasabi and nori flavoured peanuts. ZOMG! I love wasabi peas and peanuts!
So, totally ignoring my healthy paleo eating regime… and all the horrid ingredients in these things… I happily ate about 1/3 of the tin.
They were very fiery! The wasabi shot straight up my nose, bore holes into my brain, and my eyes felt like they were going to implode. It was so gooood :)
My 3 year old boy must have seen how much I was enjoying them… because he walked up to me and demanded to eat some. In fact, he scowled at me with narrowed eyes. He was so rude! Let’s just say he’s been in a very naughty phase these last couple of weeks.
I said simply, “Sorry Liam, these are not for you. These things are really hot. Like chili. They will burn your tongue. You won’t like them. Eat this instead.” And I handed him a dried apricot.
He huffed at me, stamped his foot and started the whole, “I WANT ONE! GIMME ONE NOW! THAT’S NOT FAIR!”
Bah, he was so rude. I have to admit that – for a split second – I was temped to give him one so that I could teach him a lesson. But no… these peanuts were really hot and oh what a horrible mother I would be!
I sighed and was *just* about to gently explain it all over again… when suddenly he whacked the tin out of my hands! Deliberately!
The wasabi peanuts flew across the table, he snatched one up in his hands and then he RAN out the door so I couldn’t catch him! So naughty right??!!
I shouted, “NOOO LIAM DON’T EAT IT!!!”
But of course it was too late. He started to SCREAM from the other room. And I mean, SHRIEK AND CRY AND CLAW AT HIS FACE like you would not believe!
He was smacking his own nose and face… and I have to say that I’ve never seen a kid DRAG HIS TONGUE across a carpet so urgently before. It looks exactly like it does in the cartoons. It was definitely a first for me.
So I fetched him some water, I cleaned his tongue with a tissue paper, I gave him some cuddles, and I patted his back as he whimpered in a fetal position on my lap. I was very kind to him.
But inside of me… omg I was rolling all over the floor, hysterical with laughter. Bwahahahaha!
Number one lesson in life buddy = Listen to your mother, yo.