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Karen Does Sex Toys

15 September 2010

I get A LOT OF EMAIL from people who want me to promote products.

And I rarely believe these products are going to be of interest to my readers.

So over the years, I have developed the skill of deleting inappropriate emails very efficiently. But occasionally, something catches my eye. And this one did.

It was a very polite email letting me know that there was this online store that stocked things for women that were “Discreet and Stylish! Compact and Glamorous!”.

And you know me, I am really into being stylish and glamorous… but the “DISCREET” part made me a little suspicious. And it seemed to be the key word somehow.

My curiosity was raised just enough to click on the link. And this is what I saw.


At first glance, I thought it was a designer, cordless mouse for your computer.

But it isn’t. Oh no.

It is an “intimate massager” with “sensual feminine curves and touch sensitive buttons so that you can release those feel good endorphins!”.

As I read those words, I thought, “Oh that sounds nice. I wonder how it works. I’m into stylish health and well-being. Maybe I should see… OH HANG ON A MINUTE! RIGHTIO!! I GET IT NOW!”

But as I read the rest of the website and looked at the pictures, I was actually quite amazed at how tastefully it was presented.

It managed to talk about sex without ONCE mentioning the words “sex”, “erotic” or “orgasm”.

But then I noticed that there was A VIDEO that demonstrated “HOW TO GET STARTED” with the Be Be Intimate Massager.

So I thought, what the heck, I clicked on the play button, and I cringed in fear of what I might see.

If there had even been someone else in the room, I would never have been so brave to click PLAY. But, hey, I was curious, and this is the internet.

To my relief, the video was of two very nice ladies (fully dressed) who looked like make-up sales-persons. They showed how to put batteries into the Be Be (it takes two double A batteries), and how to use the buttons (there are two buttons, like a standard mouse, but no scroll wheel).

What was cute was that they looked slightly embarrassed to be discussing this product. They DIDN’T actually demonstrate the use of the product. I guess you just work that part out for yourself.

So there you go, it is possible to present such a topic in a completely tasteful and dignified way. Bravo to the writers.

And just to make sure we are clear on this, my dear readers, I HAVEN’T actually got this product, or tested it.

In fact, I never replied to the email, and the people who sell the Be Be Intimate Massager don’t even know I am writing this about their product.

I was just… curious. And I just looked at the website.

Here is the link to the website… in case you are also… curious.