There are some aspects of my family’s day-to-day life that I’m a little embarrassed about.
One of these things is that every alternate day WE MAKE CARROT AND CELERY JUICE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
There I said it. Does that instantly ring alarm bells in your head? Does that make you go, wow – that Karen chick is so bloody healthy. She must spend her days in multiple yoga positions listening to wind-chime meditation music, sipping freshly brewed ginseng tea, while snacking on her zero-fat organic salad.
I guess I’m a little embarrassed about it because people get the impression that I’m REALLY PAINFULLY HEALTHY.
And I’m not that healthy!
I’m the kind of girl who has naughty fantasies about rich, homemade strawberry cheesecake. And triple-decker chocolate mud cake with double cream and blueberries. Or golden crust pecan pie with French vanilla ice cream.
Anyway, it’s quite a feat to make vegetable juice everyday. It’s a team effort for us.
We have to drag all the veges from the fridge, cut it all up, juice it up, pour it out, drink it, THEN disassemble the juicer, clean out the discarded fibres, throw it into the compost, wash all the parts of the juicer, dry it, re-assemble it and put it back into the cupboard.
We’ve even made Drinking Of The Juice as a kind of ritual.
We’ll all sit down on the kitchen floor, including the kids, drink the juice with a “BOTTOMS UP!!”, then make sure we wipe off our orange moustaches – because kids + carrot juice on their faces, stain the furniture.
Today, with my tummy full of juice, it happened to be my turn to disassemble the juicer.
I took it apart, yanked off the spinning, juicing part and – to my horror – I saw a family of cockroaches mashed against the side of juicer.
Mummy and baby cockroach were squished in one corner, daddy cockroach was flung off to the other side, and various delinquent cockroaches were wedge between some seals…
So with the rest of my family still sitting on the floor, I DIDN’T SAY A THING AND KINDA JUST WENT ON TO CLEAN THE REST OF THE JUICER.
But my darling husband, who knows me too well, must’ve noticed my left eye twitch, spoke up saying, “Something wrong honey?”
“NO! NOTHING WRONG! NOTHING TO SEE! CARRY ON! BE WELL!”
I excused myself, ran to the toilet and tried to hold down my lurching stomach with “IT’S ALL JUST PROTEIN! ADDED PROTEEEEEEEIN!”