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Making Baby 3, Pregnancy Week 38 – My Confession

10 March 2009

Making Baby 3 - My Confession

I have a confession. A sort of announcement.

As you can see from the picture, I am not 23 weeks pregnant. I am 38 weeks… and there are only 40 weeks in a normal pregnancy.

Let me explain.

When my husband and I decided we were going to try to conceive a third child, the question on my mind was: Am I going to share the journey with my readers?

A lot of my readers had asked me why I hadn’t written much more about my previous two pregnancies. And I knew that many people would be interested to know the week by week details.

Also, since this website is based on my life, it was only natural for me to share this amazing life experience.

However, my immediate answer was: No, it was much too personal.

5 years ago, I decided not to share anything about my husband’s battle with cancer, which was happening at the same time as my second pregnancy.

I revealed it all in one, simple, short post after he had recovered.

I have no idea what I would have done if my husband had died, or been crippled.

A part of me wonders if writing about it would have helped me through it, in a therapeutic way.

And looking at it in hindsight, maybe I would have been able to inspire more people if I did.

Who knows. But at the time, keeping it secret was the right thing for me to do. The thought of sharing the day to day details of my life at that time, with thousands of strangers… was daunting and terrifying.

So when it came to Making Baby 3, I still had lots of fears. Fears of failure. Fears of being too real. Fears of sharing things that were very close to my heart. Having the contents of my heart out in the open – open to attacks, ridicule and judgment.

And what if something went wrong along the way? Complications. Invasive procedures. Operations. Miscarriages. Still births.

I guess if something did go wrong, I wanted some time to deal with things personally and privately, before I shared it with the world.

Because on the other hand, a big part of me wanted to share the story. I wanted to put it out there. I wanted to tell others. To let people in. Connect, talk and inspire people on a different level.

So I found a way where I could share my story.

I put a 3 month delay on all my Making Baby 3 posts. Yes, what you have been reading up till now, was written 3 months ago.

Why have I decided to reveal the truth now, before the delivery, if I have gone to so much trouble to keep it delayed?

Well, to be honest, a lot of reasons.

Because everything has gone so well so far with this pregnancy – I’m feeling confident.

Because we had problems getting pregnant, I have had to consider how fortunate I am to be having a third baby.

Because, I guess, that I have matured a lot in the time we have been trying to “Make Baby 3”.

Because I have become a wiser, calmer, stronger person.

And because I wanted to be completely honest with you, my readers.

I hope you understand why I needed to have the delay. I hope you forgive me.

So now, I am currently at 38 weeks.

I am big, and I am heavy! Everything in my pregnancy has been going wonderfully fine and dandy.

Considering that both my other sons were born during my 38th week, I am expecting the baby any day now!

Click here to see the whole story of Making Baby 3.