Last week, I had my 20 week ultrasound examination, sometimes called the anatomy scan.

This is when they examine the baby’s head, brain, face, lips, heart, stomach, lungs, abdominal wall, kidneys, bladder, spine arms, legs, hands, and feet.

They measure the growth of the baby, the baby’s heart rate, the position of the placenta and amount of amniotic fluid.

Most life-threatening abnormalities can be detected during this scan. And you can find out the sex of the baby.

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I was quite tense for a few days leading up to the scan. Probably more tense than I was willing to admit at the time.

I was deeply concerned about my baby’s health – mainly because we conceived using artificial means, with my husband’s frozen sperm, which was gathered when he was quite sick.

There was almost no evidence that cancer, or chemotherapy has a negative effect on a man’s sperm.

So although I tried to be calm and sensible, I could feel the rising anxiety inside me. It made me irritable and emotional. It took all my energy to remain composed on the outside.

For this scan, I had to drink one large glass of water, one hour before arrival. I was a bit annoyed about it, because this was bound to add to my edginess.

I arrived, and there was a long queue. I was getting tense.

There was a slight problem with my referral. Slightly more tense.

I had to sit and wait. More tense!

When it was finally my turn, I lay on the chair while the sonographer did her thing.

My fingers were twisted in a white and pink tangle. My muscles were knotted up. My back was stiff. My neck was tight.

She made some polite chit chat, and then gave a commentary on what she was doing, what parts of the baby she was checking, head circumference, length of legs, heart beat, blood flow, 10 little fingers, perfect little toes…

All is well.

Baby is absolutely perfect.

Did I want to know the baby’s gender?

Yes.

“A boy! Congratulations! You can go to the toilet now.”

So I ran to the toilet. I returned to the sonographer.

I lay back on the chair. And I relaxed.

I realised what had happened. I realised the good news. And I started to cry!

I cried!

All my tensions were released. All my worries, all my anxieties, angst and fears, washed away into a little soggy bit of tissue.

I was so happy. My little baby is perfect. My little baby boy!

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