The other day I drove the kids to my mother’s place for a swim. Upon arrival, I discovered that I completely forgot to bring the swimming clothes bag that I had packed. Ugh.

Not to worry. I have a bag of spare clothes for the boys that I leave at my parent’s house… so the boys can swim in their t-shirts and underpants.

But what about me? I sheepishly asked my mother if I could borrow her swimsuit.

Now. My swimsuit is a plain, black, two-piece. I admit it is BORING.

But. It is made from industrial strength, chlorine resistant, lined material, with an SPF rating of 50+. It cost me something like $150 and it has lasted 6 years of swimming with children in icky, super-chlorinated, public swimming pools.

It has not faded, stretched, nor is it saggy in the butt! It’s boring, but it’s functional. And it has saved me money, time and effort every summer (that I would have wasted on looking for a new swimsuit).

My mother’s swimsuit turned out to be a blue hibiscus monstrosity. Like a Hawaiian clown threw up on it. Like the manufacturers ran out of swimsuit material, and used some hideous 1960s curtains instead.

I put it on and I instantly felt like a 50 year old woman. (Not to insult my mother, for she is 60 with an excellent figure for her age.)

My sons baulked. It didn’t help that they kept saying, “Hee hee! You don’t look like mummy! You look like grandma!”

But the final stroke was when they said, “You should just stick to your boring black swimsuit mum.”

So after I deliver my third baby. I swear I’m going out to buy a hot-looking, coloured swimsuit, and my sons can eat my shorts.