Today I had a wonderful afternoon. I’m not entirely sure what made it so special from any other day though.

My boys dressed in OPPOSITE tracksuit colours. They gathered large autumn leaves and fanned the air like buzzy bees. They ran off without looking back.

My husband and I strolled behind them. Usually we would talk, chat and laugh noisily about our day.

But I was in a very reflective mood today. Lots to think about.

There is always so much going on in my head, but today, it all seemed to be moving at the same speed, with the same rhythm.

I was thinking about parenting. Motherhood. Children. My family. Infertility. Future. Love. Hopes. Sensitivity. Sadness. Loss. Emptiness. Depression. Blogging. Writing. Creating. My life plans. My community. The people in my life.

I had this strange calm in my spirit. Like I reached some kind of clarity. Or perspective.

Or like I’ve been unconsciously gathering thoughts for the last 2 weeks, and suddenly, somehow, everything has all come together.

And everything is all good.

It’s a good place to be.

One of the perspective-gaining thoughts on my mind:

The other day, I watched an Australian Story documentary on Charmaine Dragun. She was from Perth, a beautiful young woman, 29 years old, newsreader on Channel 10. She spent years battling with depression, hiding if from everyone she knew, seeing various doctors, trying new medications. She jumped to her death in Sydney November 2007, leaving behind a grieving fiancé and family.

The news puzzled me at the time. But to hear her whole life, her family, her values, her passion, her ambitions, her struggles… it shocked me to my core. She was so normal – in fact she seemed more than normal – from what I gathered, she was an outstanding, inspiring, and motivated person. I was deeply saddened, yet moved in ways I am still yet to understand.

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