Each school term, parents are invited to do a roster in their child’s pre-primary class.

We turn up with our child, and we sit in a miniature chair made for little bums. The class sings songs and have a learning session on the mat. After that the parents will cut up fruit, have a cup of tea and chit chat with the Teacher’s Assistant.

Later the teachers will get us to do a little activity with the kids.

Depending on luck, you will either get to help the children do Dot-To-Dot Worksheets, or help 25 kids to each construct a multi-layered bird house made out of drinking straws, toilet rolls and dangling pompoms –while juggling a hot glue gun and a shaker of glitter.

I am ushered to the activity table. Today I’m helping the children make cellophane jellyfish creatures.

They get a zip-lock sandwich bag from the box. Fill it up with crunched up coloured cellophane. Seal it. Pick out 4 bits of paper streamers, make little twists in them, staple them to the bottom of the bag. Cut out paper eyes, glue them on the front. Write their names on the back. Put it on the drying rack.

GOOD LORD IT WAS HARD WORK.

Trying to manage 5 kids at a time, all at slightly different skill levels and all with their slightly different personality quirks – too hyper, too shy, too smart, too messy, too particular, or too daydreamy.

AARRGGH.

For 1 hour, as I worked through every kid in the class, I was constantly squawking “Ok now use the scissors! Not so much glue! Now make twists, like this! What about one more tentacle? There are no more blue ones. Press harder on the stapler. Oops you’re dripping! Great job! Maybe that’s too much cellophane! Are you left or right handed? Just two eyes please! There’s no more blue! Careful with the scissors! Less glue please! That’s enough staples!” and it went on and on and on and on and on.

For a whole hour!! My brain hurts!

The class is learning about Underwater Creatures this month. So lucky me, I get the roster day where the teacher brings in a dead fish to dissect and gut, while teaching the children about how creatures breath underwater. Lovely.

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