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Making Baby 3, Part 5 : The M Word

16 November 2007

Warning : I must give a warning to men and women who are a bit squeamish. This post is all about WOMEN’S CERVICAL MUCUS.

LOOK AWAY NOW! LALALALALALA!

The Billings Method ChartThe other week, I mentioned that there is scientific evidence that boy sperm swim faster but die quicker, and girl sperm swim slower but last longer.

The Shettles Method is based on this idea. It describes natural techniques that increase the chances of having a boy or girl. Apparently it boasts a 75% – 90% success rate, if done correctly!

According to the book I am reading, one of the major principles of the Shettles Method (and Billings Method) is to know when you ovulate – that is, when the egg is released from the ovary. All women’s cycles are different, so it’s actually pretty tricky to pinpoint the day of ovulation. One method suggested is to use a Cervical Mucus Chart.

Now. Maybe it’s just me. But when I think of A CHART, I think of a reward chart. Little coloured squares, with smiling cartoon faces and big gold stars. But no, it’s not that kind of chart.

Apparently your mucus changes depending on where you are in your cycle, and this helps to indentify when you ovulate. So you are encouraged to ASSESS your mucus on a daily basis.

You know. ASSESS. Like get down real close. Touch. Smell. Feel the consistency between your fingers.

Apparently you have write your results on a calendar. Use words like elastic, egg white, cloudy, sticky, gluey, stringy, slippery, clear, white, pink, brown, yellow! There are even International Charting Symbols!

At this point I put the book down and gave up instantly. I was utterly defeated by the major eeew-ness of it all. I said to my husband, I’m not going to write about mucus on my website.

He made a noise like a chicken! Directed at ME! ME! A COWARD!

So I instantly began to read a chapter OUT LOUD to him. Inflicting every single diagram and photograph on him, by waving it under his nose. LOOK AT THAT! YES IT’S A PHOTOGRAPH OF SOMEONE’S MUCUS! AND YES! IT’S STRINGY!

So after reading it OUT LOUD for a week, I’m over it. I’m over the eeew-ness.

I can proudly say – I’ve had two babies and a mucus chart, surely nothing can gross me out now. I am truly a woman.

But for my poor husband? He’s definitely a chicken.

You all still here? Do you still respect me? Are you still my friend?

By the way, you can read more about The Shettles Method in Dr Shettles’ Book, called How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby.

I also have a book called, The Billings Method (the one with the gross pictures) and you can read all about it on this website. If you really want.

More next week!

Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.

Image from BOM