So, we’re not pregnant.
I think I kind of knew anyway – I didn’t seem to feel like there was anything different. Yet. To be honest, when I saw only one pink line on the “pee stick”, I still felt… disappointed.
I call them “pee sticks” since you have to catch some of your pee in a little cup and dip the stick into it. If you have got something magical going on inside, you see two lines appear. If not – just one, single, lonely line.
Waiting THREE ETERNAL MINUTES for the pregnancy test to develop feels like a lottery. It feels like you’re scratching away on a scratch-and-win card. It feels like you’re the last contestant on a game show and the clock is ticking. It feels like that 30 million dollars could be yours and your LIFE COULD CHANGE IN AN INSTANT.
But no. It’s not to be.
Yes, I’m slightly disappointed. With my first son, Callum, we fell pregnant the very first time we tried to conceive! With my second son, Sean, we fell pregnant on the second month.
So I sit here and think about how I feel, I can quickly see how month after month can pass. How months slowly turn into a year. Then 5 years.
Realising this, I feel tiny pangs of heartbrokenness for the countless couples I know who have been trying, for years, to have their first child. Man, it must be hard.
I’ve got to keep things in perspective. I have to be grateful that I’ve already got two healthy kids. And there are people who just can’t have kids at all.
Ah. It’s not the end of the world. There is always next month. And more pee sticks!
More next week!
Click here to see the evolving story of Making Baby 3.