Callum starts school next year. And I’m a bit emotional about it.
Last week I had an information session with Callum’s new teacher. She seemed like a fantastic teacher and a passionate nurturer. She ran through the program, her routine, school policies, parent involvement, things the children need to bring etc. I was impressed and overwhelmed at the same time.
I kept thinking – Aaaak! My baby is going to own a lunchbox? I don’t know if I’m ready for that!
I was particularly distracted by the child-themed busyness of the room. Everywhere I looked… colourful charts and artworks were splashed on every inch of wall, containers of paint, crayons, pencils, markers, glue, craft bits, puzzle boxes, toy boxes, shoe boxes, a wall of hand prints, painted fish shapes, fruity cellophane mobiles, blobby butterflies, crushed paper flowers, teeny tiny chairs, miniature tables – it was all so deliciously youthful, but I felt my heart twang with heaviness knowing that my little baby will do all this cool stuff, and I won’t be there to see it.
Ok honestly, I’m really excited for Callum and this new phase in his life. As a kid, I loved school. And I hope that he will too.
But deep down, a part of me is utterly terrified of all the negative new experiences and influences he’ll face without me. Dealing with peculiar social norms that rule the kindy playground, friendships, disappointments, loneliness, rejection, embarrassment, bullying, fighting. I talk endlessly about these things to Callum, not with any clear conclusions, I just ramble away casually about anything and everything… hopefully so he knows he can talk to me and ask questions whenever he feels like it.
I guess other than that, I just have to learn to let go, have a bit of faith and remember that life is full of good things to learn and experience too, especially for a 4 year old.