A girlfriend of mine invited me to go clubbing. Clubbing? I raised one eyebrow. I’m so not into the clubbing scene. Although… I think it’s only fun and interesting if I go once a year. That way there’s enough time to forget how lame drunk people can get, how expensive drinks are, how people squish past you to grab your tits, and how utterly gross my hair smells after.
But hey, I had a baby 3 months ago. So I wanted to go out, feel young and crazy and have some irresponsible fun.
All men want to get laid by the end of the night. So keeping this in mind, we had two dweebs sitting by the bar looking after our jackets, another two losers with too much money buying us drinks, and two very good looking (but very boring) dancers making us look good. It was a fun evening.
I believe there’s a certain feeling of power when you’re in a club and MARRIED. You know you’re going to go home to a warm bed and snuggle up to the man you’re utterly in love with. So there was a that cool and ease in which I found myself shutting down, waving off, lying to, and totally ignoring every boring, ugly, annoying, pretentious guy I met.
There was one guy that I couldn’t shake off. He told me some poor story of how he’s been in Perth for 8 months and hasn’t been able to find a salsa dance partner and that I was the best salsa dancer he’s ever danced with blah blah blah. He really wanted my number so he could practice with me. Riiiight. Sure buddy. Good try.
I was going to refuse politely. But realised that the easiest way to get rid of this guy was to give it to him. So I took the phone that he was waving in front of my face, punched in some completely random number, gave it back to him and winked. He was so grateful, I almost felt sorry I did it.
Then there was this OTHER guy. Phwoar. He looked somewhere between Lenny Kravitz and Ben Harper. Damn he was hot. Soooo very sexy. I managed to score a dance too. But he started chatting and telling me he was a computer programmer. Gawd. I SO didn’t want to know that. After that, I couldn’t stop imagining of him eating spam and instant noodles and forwarding Dilbert cartoons to his co-workers. No offence to the computer programmers out there. Heh.
So overall it was a fun night. I got home at 3am. I was still drunk. I promised myself I’d never do it again. And I HAD to wash my hair. So it was 5am before I went to bed.
And yes, it was nice and warm.